Regrets. We all have them. But how do you deal with them?
There’s an unhealthy way and there’s a way I’ve found that works pretty well.
Most people do the unhealthy thing of holding onto their regrets and wishing every night that they could go back in time and do things over. I used to do this too and it is not fun. Your regrets will eat away at you and make you depressed.
Maybe you didn’t have a good time in high school, maybe you fucked up your freshman year of college, maybe your girlfriend caught you cheating, it doesn’t matter.
No matter how much we want to, we can’t jump into a time machine.
We have to accept our regrets. Realize that it’s okay to have regrets. There’s two types of people, people who let their regrets ruin their lives, and people who use their regrets to motivate themselves.
The way I look at it is this: If you aren’t happy with your life right now, you’re going have to put in real effort to fix that. You’re going to increase your stock from $0 to $100, and that $100 is going to feel better than ever.
The average kid in high school or college is never going to see the need for self-improvement so he will continue to stay average. He’ll stay at $50 his whole life. Boring job, no sex, few friends, watching every football game to win his fantasy football league.
I actually enjoy that I started at the bottom for this reason. I truly believe that I will amount to something while most people won’t amount to jack shit.
The few people who say they don’t have regrets are lying. But it’s a good lie. Everyone has regrets. What they’re really saying is, “I can live with my regrets.” And thats the only part that counts.
They will say that their regrets have made them the person that they are today.
BOOM. That’s how you should be thinking.
Unfortunately it’s not such an easy transition of thought processes. And it’s because of “What if I’m not happy where I am today?”
I certainly wasn’t happy where I was in my life, but I found a way to still think positive.
What I did was I thought back to all my major regrets and I wrote them down in chronological order. Then I wrote something good that happened because of the specific event (regret), that had occurred. It’s kind of like cause and effect.
Here’s some of mine:
1. Regret – Switched schools to live with my Dad for high school
1. Good – Started playing drums and joined a band
2. Regret – Went to a music school for my freshman year of college
2. Good – Met my first longterm girlfriend
3. Regret – Took a substance that permanently decreased my libido
3. Good – Allowed me to realize that I didn’t really love my girlfriend
4. Regret – Treated her really badly before I broke up with her
4. Good – Found GLL in lonely times and changed my life
I highly encourage you to make your own list of regrets as it is very therapeutic.
If you’re not currently happy and still harping on a regret, it will be the last one on the list. If you are happy then you will have something good at the bottom of the list.
Even if you’re not happy, you can just look at your list and notice that something good will always come from a regret.
It might not come right away, or you might not even notice it yet. But you will. Be patient and you will realize that all of your regrets will eventually turn into something positive.
The more you believe in fate, the more positive of a person you will be.
Alright guys, that’s it for tonight.
List some of your regrets and positive things that came after them in the comments section below. You will truly be able to see that regrets can and will be livable with this technique.
2015 is our year. Let’s kill it together!