Brodies. Tonight you will learn how to text girls and have them actually want to hang out with you, instead of just using you for attention.
None of us really like texting, but it’s part of the annoying sequence of events you have to take to hangout/hookup with chicks.
Girls on the other hand love texting because they get to use their vagina power every second of the day and receive an endless amount of attention.
In reality, texting is just a huge game. It’s a game within “The Game”. It’s a game that shows who wants the other more, ruled by response times and smiley faces.
And unfortunately for us, it’s a very tricky game.
PS: This guide is a great starting point, but if you want to learn more about texting and how to be more attractive in general, check out my review of Christian McQueen’s, A Man In Demand Academy.
Anyway, before you text a girl, there’s two things you have to do. Identify the type of girl you’re talking to, and define the relationship you currently have with her.
Step #1 – Do you already know the girl you’re about to text?
You must first ask yourself if you’ve met the girl before. If yes, did you meet her at a party, through cold approach, or have you been friends for awhile?
If you met her at a party or through cold approach, you have a very short time window to meet up with her. Since she has so many options from guys she already knows, most girls don’t even give “randoms” a chance. And the ones that do get a chance, are ones that strike immediately before they forget about you.
The best case scenario is already fucking them before you get their number, so that way you don’t have to put up with her bullshit texting game. But, I understand that it’s easier said than done.
Number from a girl at a bar/party:
So say you got her number at a party. She likely got at least 5 other guys’ numbers and probably made out with a few if not slept with one.
Pro tip: Making out with a girl doesn’t guarantee you anything. Most girls these days will make out with multiple dudes in one night and not give a shit about you later. If you don’t go home with her, you’re still considered a random.
Anyway, when you text her the next day, she probably doesn’t remember you.
Don’t text her, “Hey it’s Brian from last night.” Say something mysterious like, “Did we make out last night?”
This conveys to her that you were drunk and don’t remember her either. That’s a good thing. It shows her that you we’re having fun/making out with other girls/not obsessing over her.
This works especially well if you actually did make out with her and she remembered it. She will feel less cool than you, which is ultimately what you should be aiming for.
But, she’s most likely going to answer with, “Who is this”.
DO NOT TELL HER WHO YOU ARE.
Keep it mysterious and keep her on her toes. Tell her you think you met her at the party last night.
She’ll be very curious and will probably start asking for a picture of you or your Snapchat/Instagram.
Send her a picture, but make sure it’s very good. Do not send it if you’re not 100% confident in it. Also tell her to send you one too.
After that just continue with a flirty conversation but do not say anything about hanging out. All girls get is guys asking to hang out. You’re going to do the opposite and make her wonder if you’re really interested in her.
End the conversation and text her something random the next day. After you’ve talked for a little bit, then you can push for the meet-up if she hasn’t already. Just don’t do it the first time you text her.
Number from a girl through cold approach:
Getting a girl’s number through cold/warm approach is a little bit different than through a party because the girl knows you’re at least somewhat interested in her.
I suggest telling the girl to take your number and to “text you right now”. That way you know that the girls who text you their name are at least somewhat interested in you.
Also, you obviously can’t play the whole mysterious card because both of you were sober.
After she texts you her name, wait a few hours and start a conversation with her later that night. Make it flirty and fun – I’ll have an entire text thread for you to see as an example later on. And once again, don’t push for the meet-up right away. Continue texting for a few days before bringing it up.
A girl you’re already friends with:
If you’re already friends with a girl and played it according to the Social Circle Game, she either just thinks of you as a friend which is fine, or just doesn’t want to make the first move.
You can fix this problem by going out with her. Invite her to the bar, a party, or if you think she likes you, your place.
Now what I do with girls I’m friends with, is that I stick to strictly calling them. Why text when you don’t have to? Calling is so much easier and straight to the point without any fluff, and you’ll become much better friends as well.
So if you’re bored one night and want someone to hangout with, just give the girl a call. If she doesn’t answer, wait 5 minutes and text her, “call me”. If you’re really friends, they will always call back after that.
Also, you can text her every once in awhile about stuff YOU are doing. I will explain the reasoning behind this in the next section. Do this only if she texts you first on occasion.
Step #2 – What type of girl is she?
After you’ve determined your relationship with the girl, you now have to see what type of girl she is.
We can narrow it down into two basic categories.
- Girl A – Girls who are insecure, nice, and good texters.
- Girl B – Girls who are attention whores, bitchy, and shitty texters.
Girl A is obviously the kind of girl you want to be dealing with. They will put effort into the conversation, text back quickly, and use a lot of “lols” and smiley faces. They genuinely care about you and they make it a lot easier to get to know and eventually hang out with. These girls are rare.
Girl B on the other hand is most girls these days. Especially girls with iPhones. It’s almost amazing how different/worse a girl is if she has an iPhone versus any other phone. They will take forever to respond, give one word texts, and usually won’t give two shits about you. These girls are often just using you for attention. There are some exceptions though, some girls are genuinely busy/bad texters.
In most cases, if you come across Girl B, I recommend pushing for the meet-up immediately. They are more likely to meet-up quickly than Girl A, but also more likely to stop talking to you. Your chances with them are so low anyway that you might as well go for the hail-mary.
If Girl B gives you bullshit answers or “maybe”, just swipe your finger to the right and click delete. She is gone from your life.
Pro tip: Never actually add a girl to your contacts unless you’re positive you want her in your life. Until she proves herself to you she’s just a random number (literally).
If you get lucky and run into Girl A, follow the steps in the previous section and text her depending on how you met her.
Now onto the exciting part – example text threads.
Example #1. A little background on this girl – I met her while delivering cookies. We had a real flirty vibe going and she paid by credit card and drew a dick where her signature was supposed to be. I forgot to give her my number so I took a huge risk and texted her from her order receipt. I was sure this girl liked me though and I was right.
The next day I called her at 4:30 and she didn’t answer. I Immediately deleted her number off my screen. I couldn’t care less.
But then later that night….
I have a no tolerance policy regarding bullshit so I never answered and once again deleted her number off my screen.
If you hadn’t noticed, this text thread show a lot of important things.
Firstly, when she didn’t answer my call, I didn’t freak out like most guys do and text her needy shit or call her again later. Obviously girls are used to loser guys all the time, and when she realized I didn’t give a shit about her, she texted me later that night.
She wasn’t busy for 5 hours, she was testing me on my neediness and I passed. The ONLY reason she texted me is because I was so unlike most other guys who would’ve blown up her phone when she didn’t answer.
Then, when I didn’t text her back at night – she began to worry. “Oh shit, I’m talking to a cool guy and I blew it! Fuck, I hope he texts me back.”
I guarantee thats what was going through her head all night. That’s what we do when girls don’t text us back – girls do the same thing.
And that is why she texted me again in the morning. She really didn’t want me to stop talking to her, but little did she know it was too late.
This shows the power of an ignored text, something that girls rarely have to deal with.
And if I wanted to, I could’ve said literally anything to her second text and she would’ve replied immediately. I would’ve possessed all the power in the conversation but I just didn’t care.
Pro tip: A girl you just met will not text you more than twice in a row after you’ve ignored her text.
Example #2. This second example is a girl I fucked off Yik Yak. If you don’t know what Yik Yak is, check out this article. This girl also perfectly describes a “Type A” girl. Here’s the whole conversation from after I got her number to when I went and picked her up.
After she said that she was about to call me I called her and we talked on the phone for 30 minutes. It’s absolutely crucial to talk on the phone with girls you haven’t met in person before. It’s even more crucial to make sure you have a LONG conversation. This will significantly reduce flakes.
You also don’t want to meet up with a girl without hearing her voice for your own sake as well. You don’t want to waste your time on a catfish or a girl who is weird as fuck. Texting won’t show a girls personality but a phone call definitely will.
Another huge thing that never gets discussed is the idea of how you word your texts. I hear a lot of guys say, “Ask her questions, girls love to talk about themselves.”
False. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Consciously girls love to talk about themselves, but subconsciously they hate it. And the subconscious is what counts. Deep down, girls want a man to invest in and encompass her thoughts. Notice how in this conversation most of what I say does not end in a question. I’m forcing her to invest and contribute to the conversation.
This is how you get girls to have feelings for you in both real life and texting. This is why she met up with me.
If I had just asked her questions she would’ve just answered the questions.
Nothing would’ve been accomplished.
In addition, look at how the conversation spanned over two days. I didn’t immediately ask her to hang out like most guys would, I let her develop feelings for me. And then I when I did push for the meet-up, I went hard. I wouldn’t take no for an answer and she knew it.
She also probably wouldn’t have met up with me if she didn’t hear my voice and see a different picture of me. You usually have to go through this whole sequence of events to meet up with girls online, so be prepared to put in a lot of effort.
Lastly, it’s important to note that she was texting back immediately and I was texting back anywhere from 10-30 minutes. This drives girls nuts (in a good way).
The longer you take to reply, the faster the girl will reply, and the more they will worry whether you’re going to text them back or not. When we met in person she even said that I take forever to reply – she was clearly sweating me throughout our entire conversation.
Alright guys, that’s it for tonight.
This is the longest article I’ve ever written and I feel like it’s some of my best work. I hope you now have a better understanding on how to text girls. Leave me your thoughts below and any questions you may have.
Have a good weekend everyone – start texting right!