What’s Going On With Me?

Hey everyone. It’s been awhile since I’ve been writing on here regularly, and it’s something I’ve missed greatly.

I just want to let loose with this post and get all my thoughts out of my head. Cool?


Honestly, ever since I crashed my bike in April, my life has been a mess.

I have a great girlfriend and make a decent amount of money, and I thought that’s all I would need to be happy.

Turns out I was wrong.

How could that be you ask, “You live a life most people would only dream of having!”

It might look that way on the outside, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Ever since I started my self-improvement journey, I wanted to look good, feel good, be with a loving girlfriend, and make enough money to be free.


Those goals had been completed by the beginning of 2017, and to be frank, I didn’t think it would happen so fast. Four years ago when I started seems like just yesterday.

And for the first few months of the year, I did feel good, and it really did seem like I was living the life.

But the feeling soon faded. The pleasure of success doesn’t stay forever, and like everything else, you adapt to your new way of life.


What was once an amazing dream, was now just normal life to me.

I thought that I would be happy with zero commitments and the freedom to do anything I wanted. But I wasn’t.

New thoughts started to sink in – “Is this it? What am I supposed to do now?”


I didn’t have any additional goals I wanted to achieve at the time, so I filled the void with video games, the first time I had done so since my freshman year of college.

I then slowly spiraled into depression, something I also haven’t had to deal with since that same time period.

What was even worse, was that I had recognized this toxic behavior earlier this summer when I wrote a similar post.

But the depression had such a strong hold on me that I could not break it. I was paralyzed.


It’s been a rough past number of months, but thankfully, things have started to turn around.

The best thing that has happened recently was that I met an awesome developer who is now a good friend, as we are working on a crypto-project together.

This has given me my drive back which I had so desperately been lacking.


I also deleted YouTube from my phone, which was literally making me a zombie. I couldn’t eat without it, couldn’t sleep without it, I couldn’t even take a shit without it.

This one app had such massive control over my life, and it played a huge part of keeping me depressed for so long.

Once I deleted it, it was like breaking a shackle off my wrist. I was free from my own devices.


I think it’s very important to keep close attention to anything that you’re addicted to. Because a lot of the times, that addiction will take over your life and enslave your mind.

Whether it be YouTube, video games, alcohol, girls, etc, it’s probably going to mask your real purpose in life, and drag you into a dark place.

And if any of you have ever experienced depression before, you know what I’m talking about. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.


I have come to realize that solving problems is the key to happiness. 

You have to focus on problems that inspire you to get up in the morning and make yourself and the world a better place. And then once you solve one problem, you move on to the next one.

You cannot just wish for a life without problems, because one, that’s never going to happen, and two, even if it did, you’re going to get bored real fast.


It’s kind of like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

You have to identify which part of the pyramid you are stuck on, and then solve all the problems to make it to the next step.

The really hard part is self-actualization, because that’s where you’ll have to keep the fire going for the rest of your life.


Alright guys, that’s it for tonight.

It’s good to be back writing again, and next post I’m going to go over another extremely important idea I learned this summer.

Hope all is well.

Best – Brian

By | 2018-05-06T17:29:57+00:00 November 21st, 2017|Life|7 Comments


  1. GetItGoing November 21, 2017 at 4:17 PM - Reply

    Hi Brian well I guess that explains us not being able to get in touch with you. This is a good post, and there are some hard – but very valuable – truths in it.

    Most of all glad to see that you’re back on track and doing much better.

    I do hope you continue to contribute on YouTube at some point, here, or in some other venue if not here.

    Does this mean you’re active in your AliexpressEcommerce course again?

    All the best, and keep enjoying a happy life with your nice girlfriend! (I can’t wait ’til I can visit Thailand one day and meet some girls!!)

  2. Georgia Louise Daganasol November 22, 2017 at 8:27 AM - Reply

    Hi Brian,

    I absolutely love the thoughts you shared on this post. That’s always been a thing I’ve been struggling with. When you feel contented and you reach that point where you have everything you could wish for, you start to question your existence and ask yourself a lot, “What’s the point of all these?”

    and uninstalling YouTube. Hahaha. Smart move. I should do that too, I guess. I too often get sucked into that youtube spiral.

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner November 22, 2017 at 11:29 AM - Reply

      Hey Georgia,

      Yes, it’s a very strange feeling. I almost feel like less is more and I should live in a more buddhist way.

  3. John November 22, 2017 at 10:32 AM - Reply

    Hi Brian,
    I just checked your channel yesterday in case I missed a video. What a coincidence.
    Don’t forget our spirits are eternal and this life is a test to see if we make it into Heaven. Christ is Lord, demons are our invisible enemies, and the Holy Spirit is our Helper. Prayer is powerful. Testing and temptation are necessary.

    Great point about YouTube app. Before I had iPhone my phone was just for yapping.


    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner November 22, 2017 at 11:31 AM - Reply

      Hey John thanks for the comment. I’ve been thinking a lot more spiritually lately.

  4. Mariano November 28, 2017 at 10:45 AM - Reply


    Yesterday I was in the shower, thinking about a health problem I’m dealing with.

    Then I started thinking that once I solve it, I could make a website and share with people how to deal and SOLVE this problem.

    Then I understood that the biggest meaning of life is that “we are here in this world… to improve OTHER peoples lives.”

    Yes, we must work on our own happiness, but once that’s in progress, we must start to focus on how to improve the lives of people that will come and live after us.

    Like, “every generation should work to make the next generation happier”, something like that but applied to the individual: “what can I do to improve people lives in the present and near future?”

    I know what I should be doing, first I have to solve this damn problem because if not I won’t be able to help anyone.

    What about you Brian?

    (you already did a GREAT work with this website btw!)


    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner November 29, 2017 at 10:26 AM - Reply

      hey mariano – great comment and yes very true.

      my #1 goal is to make a free world, as i’m getting very involved in the crypto/blockchain space.

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