What’s up everyone. Most of you have probably heard of Kratom already. But have you actually tried it?
Kratom is by far the best “thing” I’ve ever taken. The effects you get from it are second to none. It is so good that I rarely tell people about it in real life. One, because I don’t want it to get too popular and get banned, and two because I like having a competitive advantage over everyone else.
However, I think that everyone in our little community deserves to have Kratom in their life. Why? Because I started where you’re starting not too long ago. I remember stumbling onto the internet looking for solutions to change my life. I remember how much work I had to do to get where I wanted to be.
I honestly don’t know if I would have accomplished my goals without Kratom. It made my self-improvement journey 1000x easier. And if you get top shelf Kratom, I guarantee it will make yours the same way. Use this Kratom guide as outlined and your life will change forever.
PS: If you already know about Kratom and don’t need to read on, check out my recommended vendor for the best Kratom around.
What is Kratom?
Kratom, pronounced: kray-tum, is a tropical plant that lives in Southeast Asia. It’s leaves contain medicinal properties that benefit you in many different ways, yet the plant is known/used by only a small percentage of people. Now what are these benefits you might ask?
- Increases energy – Good for getting you off the couch
- Increases productivity – Good for doing work
- Increases relaxation – Good for coming home after a long day
- Reduces pain – Good for healing injuries/soreness
- Suppresses appetite – Good for losing weight
- Eliminates anxiety – Good for every second of your life
- Makes you feel super good – Ditto
Now I know what you’re thinking, “How the fuck does it do all of that?”
My answer: I have no fucking idea. But it does, and my life has been improved drastically for the past two years I’ve been taking it.
I use it every day, and I can’t imagine my life without it. It’s just so beneficial for literally any situation.
However, in order to make the most out of Kratom, you have to rotate between different “strains”.
Different Kratom Strains
Without making things too confusing, there’s four main places Kratom comes from, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Bali. Each location has slightly different plants (strains), which have slightly different Kratom effects.
Now in order to keep your tolerance low, you have to build a rotation of different strains. Each day you will use a different strain than the previous day.
For example, on Monday you would use a Thai strain, Tuesday an Indo strain, Wednesday a Malay strain, and you would repeat the process throughout the week.
Different strains also have different “speeds”. Strains that are fast will give you more energy, and strains that are slow will make you more chill.
If you only used one strain, then you would quickly build up a tolerance and the Kratom effects would not be as strong as they once were. I will go over specific strains at the end of the guide, but first the exciting part; how to actually use this amazing plant.
How To Use Kratom
Now, there’s two ways to burn Kratom; the easy way and the hard way. I highly recommend the easy way which is called “Toss and Wash”.
1. Fold a piece of paper in half.
2. Pick one of your strains and put 2.5 grams (1 tsp.) onto the piece of paper.
3. Tilt the folded piece of paper into your mouth until all of the Kratom is in your mouth.
4. Quickly grab some water and let some liquid enter your mouth.
5. Tilt your head back and push everything to back of your mouth with your tongue.
6. Take a big swallow and then drink more water to wash down the remaining powder in your mouth.
Congrats! You have successfully completed your first burn.
A normal dose is usually about 5 grams, but everyone has a different dose that hits them the best. So start small and then work your way up if you have to.
If you feel good from the 2.5 grams (1 tsp.) then you’re all set. If you don’t “feel” it, then wait 30 minutes and take another 2.5 grams.
It takes some experimenting with Kratom to find your perfect dose, so be patient with it and you’ll find it within your next couple of burns.
Now, if you really don’t like the taste or have trouble with the Toss and Wash technique, you can always just dump your Kratom into a drink and take it that way. I should warn you though that drinking it will take a lot longer, and give you a lesser aroma than if you did Toss and Wash.
It might take some time to get the Toss and Wash technique down, but it’s definitely worth it for how efficient and potent it is.
Where To Get Kratom
Kratom can be purchased on hundreds of websites throughout the internet. However, there’s a huge difference in quality between good Kratom and bad Kratom.
Bad Kratom can actually give you opposite effects. For example, bad Kratom gives you anxiety instead of getting rid of it. Bad Kratom makes you feel shitty instead of feeling good.
I’ve tried numerous different Kratom vendors, and one has risen above and beyond everyone else – Happy Hippo Herbals.
Happy Hippo Herbals is run by my friend Chris at Good Looking Loser, which carries the cleanest, highest quality Kratom on planet earth.
In addition to the superior product, they also give you a free 1/3 oz. sample of a more expensive strain, a sticker, and a handwritten note with every purchase. They also have excellent customer-service, and will answer any question you have in a timely manner.
Furthermore, the shipping is top notch. You will receive your Kratom in 2 business days if you order in the US. And lastly, ordering is now easier than ever. Purchases can be made with any major credit/debit card.
Now like I mentioned earlier about the different strains, here’s a sample rotation that I’d recommend for a beginner. The parentheses represent where the strain was grown, and the adjectives describe the strain’s “speed”, (the amount of energy it gives you).
1. Hyper Hippo (Thai) – Fast
2. Happy Hippo I (Indo) – Moderate
3. Bali Hippo (Bali) – Slow
You can easily order all three strains (1 oz. each), for a discounted price with the Newbie Hippo Starter Pack.
Or if your already a seasoned vet and you burn everyday, here’s a full week rotation. This is exactly what I burn myself. I usually buy the 4 oz. bags so I don’t have to buy Kratom so often, and it’s also cheaper to purchase in bulk. If you burn 5 grams a day, this rotation will last you half a year.
1. Hyper Hippo (Thai) – Fast
2. Happy Hippo II (Indo) – Moderate
3. Red Hot Hippo (Thai) – Fast
4. White Hippo (Indo) – Moderate
5. Elite Hippo (Malay) – Moderate
6. Happy Hippo I (Indo) – Moderate
7. Bali Hippo (Bali) – Slow
One last thing to mention is that everyone has a different reaction to certain strains. You could love one strain but your friend could hate the same one. You really have to experiment with the different strains to find which ones work best for you.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the term ‘cash is king’ right? Well it’s wrong. Kratom is king. This stuff will seriously change your life.
Since I know you guys will have some questions, I created a whole Kratom FAQ page. If your question is not listed there, drop me a comment below and I’ll be happy to help.
If you want more energy, productivity, motivation, and relaxation, you will absolutely love Kratom. And don’t forget the anxiety elimination and overall sense of well being.
To sum things up, I have never came across something that can benefit you in so many ways like Kratom can.
And like I said before, I credit Kratom for changing my life. I want you guys to change your lives as well – I don’t want anyone to feel how I used to feel. I definitely wouldn’t be writing here today without Kratom. I’d most likely be living my same old shitty life.
I know Kratom can do for you what it’s done for me. You deserve it.