The Ultimate Kratom Guide (All About The Magical Plant)

What’s up everyone. Most of you have probably heard of Kratom already. But have you actually tried it?

Kratom is by far the best “thing” I’ve ever taken. The effects you get from it are second to none. It is so good that I rarely tell people about it in real life. One, because I don’t want it to get too popular and get banned, and two because I like having a competitive advantage over everyone else.


However, I think that everyone in our little community deserves to have Kratom in their life. Why? Because I started where you’re starting not too long ago. I remember stumbling onto the internet looking for solutions to change my life. I remember how much work I had to do to get where I wanted to be.

I honestly don’t know if I would have accomplished my goals without Kratom. It made my self-improvement journey 1000x easier. And if you get top shelf Kratom, I guarantee it will make yours the same way. Use this Kratom guide as outlined and your life will change forever.

PS: If you already know about Kratom and don’t need to read on, check out my recommended vendor for the best Kratom around.

What is Kratom?

Kratom, pronounced: kray-tum, is a tropical plant that lives in Southeast Asia. It’s leaves contain medicinal properties that benefit you in many different ways, yet the plant is known/used by only a small percentage of people. Now what are these benefits you might ask?

  • Increases energy – Good for getting you off the couch
  • Increases productivity – Good for doing work
  • Increases relaxation – Good for coming home after a long day
  • Reduces pain – Good for healing injuries/soreness
  • Suppresses appetite – Good for losing weight
  • Makes you feel super good – Ditto


Now I know what you’re thinking, “How the fuck does it do all of that?”

My answer: I have no fucking idea. But it does, and my life has been improved drastically for the past two years I’ve been taking it.

I use it every day, and I can’t imagine my life without it. It’s just so beneficial for literally any situation.

However, in order to make the most out of Kratom, you have to rotate between different “strains”.

kratom guide

Different Kratom Strains

Without making things too confusing, there’s four main places Kratom comes from, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Bali. Each location has slightly different plants (strains), which have slightly different Kratom effects.

Now in order to keep your tolerance low, you have to build a rotation of different strains. Each day you will use a different strain than the previous day.


For example, on Monday you would use a Thai strain, Tuesday an Indo strain, Wednesday a Malay strain, and you would repeat the process throughout the week.

Different strains also have different “speeds”. Strains that are fast will give you more energy, and strains that are slow will make you more chill.

If you only used one strain, then you would quickly build up a tolerance and the Kratom effects would not be as strong as they once were. I will go over specific strains at the end of the guide, but first the exciting part; how to actually use this amazing plant.

kratom guide

How To Use Kratom

Now, there’s two ways to burn Kratom; the easy way and the hard way. I highly recommend the easy way which is called “Toss and Wash”.

1. Fold a piece of paper in half.

2. Pick one of your strains and put 2.5 grams (1 tsp.) onto the piece of paper.

3. Tilt the folded piece of paper into your mouth until all of the Kratom is in your mouth.

4. Quickly grab some water and let some liquid enter your mouth.

5. Tilt your head back and push everything to back of your mouth with your tongue.

6. Take a big swallow and then drink more water to wash down the remaining powder in your mouth.

Congrats! You have successfully completed your first burn.

A normal dose is usually about 5 grams, but everyone has a different dose that hits them the best. So start small and then work your way up if you have to.

If you feel good from the 2.5 grams (1 tsp.) then you’re all set. If you don’t “feel” it, then wait 30 minutes and take another 2.5 grams.


It takes some experimenting with Kratom to find your perfect dose, so be patient with it and you’ll find it within your next couple of burns.

Now, if you really don’t like the taste or have trouble with the Toss and Wash technique, you can always just dump your Kratom into a drink and take it that way. I should warn you though that drinking it will take a lot longer, and give you a lesser aroma than if you did Toss and Wash.

It might take some time to get the Toss and Wash technique down, but it’s definitely worth it for how efficient and potent it is.


Where To Get Kratom 

Kratom can be purchased on hundreds of websites throughout the internet. However, there’s a huge difference in quality between good Kratom and bad Kratom.

Bad Kratom can actually give you opposite effects. For example, bad Kratom gives you anxiety instead of getting rid of it. Bad Kratom makes you feel shitty instead of feeling good.

I’ve tried numerous different Kratom vendors, and one has risen above and beyond everyone else – Happy Hippo Herbals.

kratom guide

Happy Hippo Herbals is run by my friend Chris at Good Looking Loser, which carries the cleanest, highest quality Kratom on planet earth.

In addition to the superior product, they also give you a free 1/3 oz. sample of a more expensive strain, a sticker, and a handwritten note with every purchase. They also have excellent customer-service, and will answer any question you have in a timely manner.

Furthermore, the shipping is top notch. You will receive your Kratom in 2 business days if you order in the US. And lastly, ordering is now easier than ever. Purchases can be made with any major credit/debit card.


Sample Rotation

Now like I mentioned earlier about the different strains, here’s a sample rotation that I’d recommend for a beginner. The parentheses represent where the strain was grown, and the adjectives describe the strain’s “speed”, (the amount of energy it gives you).

1. Hyper Hippo (Thai) – Fast

2. Happy Hippo I (Indo) – Moderate

3. Bali Hippo (Bali) – Slow

You can easily order all three strains (1 oz. each), for a discounted price with the Newbie Hippo Starter Pack. 

kratom guide

Or if your already a seasoned vet and you burn everyday, here’s a full week rotation. This is exactly what I burn myself. I usually buy the 4 oz. bags so I don’t have to buy Kratom so often, and it’s also cheaper to purchase in bulk. If you burn 5 grams a day, this rotation will last you half a year.

1. Hyper Hippo (Thai) – Fast

2. Happy Hippo II (Indo) – Moderate

3. Red Hot Hippo (Thai) – Fast

4. White Hippo (Indo) – Moderate

5. Elite Hippo (Malay) – Moderate

6. Happy Hippo I (Indo) – Moderate

7. Bali Hippo (Bali) – Slow

One last thing to mention is that everyone has a different reaction to certain strains. You could love one strain but your friend could hate the same one. You really have to experiment with the different strains to find which ones work best for you.

kratom guide

Final Thoughts

I’m sure you’ve all heard the term ‘cash is king’ right? Well it’s wrong. Kratom is king. This stuff will seriously change your life.

Since I know you guys will have some questions, I created a whole Kratom FAQ page. If your question is not listed there, drop me a comment below and I’ll be happy to help.

If you want more energy, productivity, motivation, and relaxation, you will absolutely love Kratom. And don’t forget the anxiety elimination and overall sense of well being.


To sum things up, I have never came across something that can benefit you in so many ways like Kratom can.

And like I said before, I credit Kratom for changing my life. I want you guys to change your lives as well – I don’t want anyone to feel how I used to feel. I definitely wouldn’t be writing here today without Kratom. I’d most likely be living my same old shitty life.

I know Kratom can do for you what it’s done for me. You deserve it.

By | 2017-09-15T14:58:33+00:00 February 20th, 2015|Life|51 Comments


  1. noodleboy12 February 21, 2015 at 12:33 AM - Reply

    Alright, I think its finally time for me to take the plunge. Placing my order now!!!

  2. Loser 2 Winner
    Loser 2 Winner February 21, 2015 at 9:29 PM - Reply

    you’ll love it dude. what strains did u get?

    • noodleboy12 March 6, 2015 at 1:11 AM - Reply

      Starter pack!

  3. kiddler February 23, 2015 at 4:32 PM - Reply

    Nice guide man. I might have to try HH.

    Btw, awesome folding paper technique!

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner February 24, 2015 at 1:17 AM - Reply

      haha thx man. my friend randomly thought of it one day and its so much easier. i used to spill all the time :p

  4. Vaginatown May 21, 2015 at 7:15 PM - Reply

    Will this stuff help me with school?

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner May 22, 2015 at 6:34 PM - Reply

      It is very helpful in school. If you take it before class, class will be fun. If you’re writing an essay, there won’t be any writers block.

      The only school situation I wouldn’t use it on is when you’re taking a test. Sometimes you will zone out on a problem and spend too much time on it.

      Hope that helps bro

  5. Marco Polo July 5, 2015 at 2:41 AM - Reply

    1) is it safe for an 18 year old to take kratom?
    2) whats ur opinion on phenibut
    3) what happens if you take kratom and modafinil together?
    4) GLL said he does not recommend kratom for college students because it can interfere with memory aka studying for tests, what do you think about this?
    if you can answer these 4 questions id really appreciate it ! 🙂

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 5, 2015 at 12:54 PM - Reply

      1. Yes it’s safe for everyone, but should only be taken by people ages 18+

      2. I’ve tried it and didn’t really like it, a lot of ppl love it though

      3. I’ve never done modaf, but I’m pretty sure theres no problem. People say modaf is like nzt-48 from limitless, but I think Kratom is.

      4. I don’t agree with that. As long as you take a lower dose to study and take the test, you’ll be fine. Higher doses might make you zone out, so higher doses are bad for studying, hw and tests. On the other hand, higher doses are sick for writing essays, words will just flow out of you.

      • Marco Polo July 5, 2015 at 5:08 PM - Reply

        ok so what is the recomended dose if i want to absorb as much info from powerpoints/lectures? 2.5grams? and does it matter which strain out the 3 for acedemics? thanks

        • Loser 2 Winner
          Loser 2 Winner July 5, 2015 at 5:56 PM - Reply

          Yes, you would take half your normal dose. So if your normal dose is 5gs (an average dose), you would use 2.5gs for school stuff (5gs for essays).

          No, don’t put too much importance on the strains. Just rotate them and you’ll be fine.

  6. Marco Polo July 5, 2015 at 10:43 PM - Reply

    ok thanks to you man i am going to order the newbie hippo pac .. it comes with 3 different strains.. how would i rotate these if i took it 6-7 days a week? since its only 3 strains but GLL recommends 6-7? im a bit confused so can you elaborate on it

    2) ok thanks i will half dose my normal dose for school .. do you notice a difference academically whether you take slow,moderate,fast strains? thanks so much

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 5, 2015 at 11:44 PM - Reply

      Cool man your gonna love it.

      If you take it 7 days a week your gonna want 7 different strains.

      The newbie hippo pack is for people that burn only a few times a week. You should probably get the newbie pack first to see how you like it, but if you have your heart set on a full week Kratom lifestyle, I can come up with a sick rotation for you.

      There is a slight difference in slow, moderate, and fast strains, but not a big enough difference where you have to plan out your days around different strains. It will require too much thinking and do you more harm than good.

      It’s best to just stick to your rotation no matter what your doing. Hope that helps.

  7. shane July 16, 2015 at 5:46 PM - Reply

    Im using Kratom to overcome my heroin adiction and the WD im having from the methodon that i stoped last week. I ended up in hospital after having a couple of fits and i was there for 10 days halucinating and feeling like i was going to die .Then my Kratom arived today and now my WD have stoped and i feel nearly sane again. I think its an increadable medicine but iv never felt an “aroma” from it.
    What are the benefits your geting from it? And can larger doses than 5g make you sleepy?
    I dont want to waste any but I could really do with a good sleep.
    Also to re frase an earlier question ,what benefits could I get from kratom apart from making my WD less hellish ?

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 17, 2015 at 2:57 PM - Reply

      Hey Shane. Glad it’s helping you out.

      I don’t have any experience with heroin, but I’m willing to guess that the Kratom is focusing all of it’s energy on making your WD go away.

      I say give it some time, and once your WD goes away, you’ll start getting the standard Kratom benefits.

      Benefits include:
      Increases energy
      Increases productivity
      Increases relaxation
      Reduces pain
      Suppresses appetite
      Eliminates anxiety
      Makes you feel super good

      And yes, larger doses can make you sleepy. That’s another thing for you to try actually. Since you have a high tolerance for opiates, maybe if you up your dose to 10gs you’ll start getting a solid aroma.

      Hope that helps!

  8. KratomBoss July 18, 2015 at 4:25 AM - Reply

    Happy Hippos kratom was bomb! 3g dose worked for me and I usually have a high tolerance.

  9. shane July 20, 2015 at 9:42 AM - Reply

    Thank you, you seem like a really nice guy. That makes me happy.
    Iv been using a different strain each day so It still works for me, exelent advice.
    I cant fathom why they dont give addicts Kratom which is way safer ,healthier and just better than evil methodon. I would just like to say to anyone thinking about using subutex or methodone for an opiate problem ,try kratom instead. Also NEVER mix kratom and subutex ,it turns out they have almost identical chemical actions and it will make you super sick and possibly dead. Stick to natures medicines ,man made medication almost always seems to have a serious side effect. Where as natural drugs are much less harmful.Millions of years of evolution and thousands of years of human use and testing beats created in a year and tested for a decade Big Pharma rubbish any day.
    Im going to try the Hippo site next if I can get it sent to england, there is some awful kratom in the shops in england

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 20, 2015 at 3:28 PM - Reply

      Thx Shane you too! Thx for sharing your experience as well. Some people will definitely find that helpful.

      And ya HH ships to the UK. You’re right about that – most Kratom you can get in head shops suck!

  10. Marco Polo July 28, 2015 at 9:37 PM - Reply

    when people say they burn a few times a day but their dose is 5g.. does this mean they will burn up to 10-15grams a day!!?

    i am gonna try HH2 tomorrow for the first time tomorrow .. i have school from 8am-1pm then ima go to gym 5-6pm… when should i burn my kratom for the two times in that day? thanks! (i need the first burn to last 4hours lol)

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 29, 2015 at 5:55 PM - Reply

      ya some people burn a lot of kratom. nothing wrong with it though.

      i would start off only taking it once per day. if i were u i would’ve taken 2.5gs after school. and since uve never done it u should be starting with 2.5gs anyway.

      when you know your going to the gym later its best to cut your dose in half. if not your workout will potentially make you nauseas.

      how did it go?

      • Marco Polo July 29, 2015 at 5:57 PM - Reply

        so i took 2.5grams of hh2 before school and it felt great, i could focus and wanted to get work done… so if 2.5grams gave me aroma for 2-3hours then i should take 1.25grams before the gym?… are you suppose to cut the dose in half if you burn twice a day?

        • Loser 2 Winner
          Loser 2 Winner July 29, 2015 at 8:18 PM - Reply

          ya thats a good way to do it. i wouldn’t burn right before the gym though trust me.

          start doing 2.5gs once a day for awhile and see how it effects you. you gotta build up your Kratom IQ up slowly, i don’t want u to take too much and get sick.

          • Marco Polo July 29, 2015 at 9:42 PM - Reply

            woops to late lol, i came back from gym and i took hh2 before the gym and i had such a great workout. full of energy … 2 quick questions

            1) i took sleepy hippo last friday very small dose 2grams, can i take sleepy hippo tomorrow which is thursday and not have it effect my tolerance?
            2) would sleepy hippo effect my workout like make my workout worst? thank you!

  11. Cynthia July 30, 2015 at 10:28 AM - Reply

    Good quick guide to kratom and a better “toss and wash” method. It’s definitely the most difficult method but likely gives the strongest effects. Just be careful since the powder is very dry and will stick to your mouth and throat (which may cause some people to gag). I’d recommend looking up some tea recipes. Its generally a little more enjoyable.

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner July 30, 2015 at 7:03 PM - Reply

      Hey Cynthia – thx for stopping by. Ya a lot of ppl like the tea I just think it takes too long.

      I actually have a youtube channel that i’ll be linking here soon – I just did a video about capsules.

  12. Loser 2 Winner
    Loser 2 Winner July 30, 2015 at 7:05 PM - Reply

    Marco – yes you’ll be fine. A good rule of thumb is take each individual strain once per week.

    Sleepy might not give you as much energy as hh2, but it’ll still get the job done. Don’t pay too much attention to the names.

  13. Marco Polo July 30, 2015 at 9:15 PM - Reply

    new post coming up soon xD? thanks for all the help dude

  14. Madarchod August 1, 2015 at 5:46 PM - Reply

    hey brian, in your opinion which strain of kratom (the name) is the best of the best for killing approach anxiety. not type of strain but the exact name that works best for you? thanks!

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner August 1, 2015 at 8:50 PM - Reply

      Hey mad.

      Here are my favorites: Red hot, hyper, white, elite, and kicker

      You really gotta try them out though to see which ones u like the best. Most ppl have different favorites.

      • Madarchod August 1, 2015 at 9:36 PM - Reply

        if i burn kratom 6x a week. can i have 3 types of fast in there? for example red..white..hyper.. every other day though

        1 slow (bali)
        is this ok without having cross tolerance?

        • Loser 2 Winner
          Loser 2 Winner August 1, 2015 at 11:03 PM - Reply

          yup looks good to me.

          don’t think too hard about the rotations.

  15. Madarchod August 5, 2015 at 2:53 PM - Reply

    Hey man i love the starter pack from happy hippos.. fast strains work amazing for me

    I am getting (3 fast strains) hyper, kicker.. and red hot is actually not in stock so what are your reviews on rockstar ?(idk what to get as the 3rd fast strain) is rockstar just as good for being social/non anxniety/energized as red hot is ? thanks brian!

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner August 5, 2015 at 7:09 PM - Reply

      ya fast are my favs too. rockstar isn’t my fav id recommend u try white or elite – they’re bomb.

  16. Madarchod August 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM - Reply

    ok if i burn 6 times a week can i include
    Hyper,white,elite,kicker all in my rotation? without fking up my cross tolerance or whatever its called brian?

  17. Scooter Rooter Tooter September 18, 2015 at 10:05 AM - Reply

    Difficulty sleeping…. So I ordered Kava Kava from a web site called >mood and mind the really big disadvantage is …… you’ll really have “bathroom” issues and secondly – when you run out…. I ended up with major insomnia and anxiety about discontinuing this nasty tasting powder. I can’t say I can really “recommend” this plant to others….. Especially if you easily become dependent on stuff….. Thats Just my two cents….

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner September 18, 2015 at 1:23 PM - Reply

      Hey rooster,

      Kava is a different plant than Kratom.

      I don’t like Kava at all, it makes me sick. I def don’t reccomend Kava. I’m sry u had a bad experience.

  18. Sarting October 6, 2015 at 1:19 PM - Reply

    Hi, I have two questions:

    1) In the FAQ is said that it doesn´t create addiction, physically speaking. Have you tried to stop consuming to check it? Could it create mental addiction? If you feel so great after burning it, that could happen. Any experience with this?

    2) Do you know of any shop that could send to Czech Republic?


    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner October 6, 2015 at 3:26 PM - Reply

      In theory, anything can be mentally addicting.

      I however have stopped multiple times and I don’t feel any addiction desire towards it. I use small doses though of 5gs per day. If you take 10gs per day or more that could change.

      I’m pretty sure my recommended vendor happy hippo does. Shoot them an email to double check – happyhippohelper @ live dot com

      • Sarting October 7, 2015 at 11:45 AM - Reply

        Cool. I´ll try it

  19. Tandjit Kolehar December 19, 2015 at 6:10 PM - Reply

    The Happy Hippo terms of use states that: “ products are not sold for human consumption and shall not be used for any related purposes.” This got me worried about the safety of Kratom.

  20. Alimac April 6, 2016 at 6:15 PM - Reply

    I’ve been taking green vein Maeng da. I’m up to 5 grams a day but it’s now making me sleepy. I’ve been taking the one strain for a month and 1/2.
    So I’m going to take red vein but not sure what strain…
    I would love some feed back Thx

    • Loser 2 Winner
      Loser 2 Winner April 6, 2016 at 7:47 PM - Reply

      Hey Alimac.

      You gotta get more than one strain. If you just use one everyday then it’s not gonna work anymore and it’ll make u tired like u said.

      If you use Kratom everyday u should have at least 7 strains in ur arsenal, one for each day.

  21. Lace June 11, 2016 at 11:40 AM - Reply

    Suboxone and Kratom are dangerous combination?

  22. Steve February 3, 2017 at 1:11 PM - Reply

    Kratom is a partial opiate agonist, that is why it helps with opiate wds. If your addicted to oppiates, especially a light opiate like norco, kratom will almost completely kill the wds, but..if your using it for this purpose, i would only take it for a week to two weeks max, or you will experience minor wds when you stop..that is only at the doses required to kill wds tho..i.e 7-10g twice a day for me. Just be careful folks, stuff is wonderful and better for actual pain relief than any of the pharma’s.

  23. Robin Schell July 12, 2017 at 4:44 PM - Reply

    Ok i started taking mine just now. Will let you k ow how i feel.

  24. Val March 11, 2018 at 4:11 AM - Reply

    Heard about Kratom from a friend about a week ago. I did a lot of research on it. I can’t believe that I’ve never heard of it before! I just returned from a vacation. Didn’t feel at all like unpacking and tidying up my place. Was gonna put it off till tomorrow morning when I’d have more energy.But I decided to burn a little Kratom. I mixed about 3 grams (being a newbie I did small amount) with about a third of a Naked Mighty Mango drink. OMG, I’m ready to unpack, tidy up my apt., maybe even do a load of wash. This is just what I’ve been looking for!

  25. Jan May 26, 2018 at 4:38 AM - Reply

    Question…I found some aluminum foil with a burned substance that my daughter said was kratom. Is this “smokeable?” She has been sober (heroin) for 5 years and says kratom helps her. Can I believe her?

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